[Ebook] ↠ The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read Author Philippa Perry – Marjoriejane.co.uk

The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read chapter 1 The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read , meaning The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read , genre The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read , book cover The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read , flies The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read , The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read 284b9b11cd7f5 This Is A Parenting Book For People Who Don T Buy Parenting BooksWith Straight Talking Advice From Renowned Psychotherapist Philippa Perry, How To Be A Parent Is The Definitive Guide For Any Parent Looking To Navigate Their Past, Avoid Repeating Their Own Parents Mistakes, And Ensure They Don T Land Their Own Kids In Therapy.Through The Combination Of Case Studies, Her Own Experiences As A Parent, And Therapeutic Insight Gained From A Career Spanning Over 20 Years, Perry Tackles The Wider Issues Of What It Actually Means To Be A Parent, Rather Than Getting Bogged Down In The Little Details.This Isn T A Book About Meeting Developmental Milestones, Training Your Child To Have Enviable Manners, Or How To Get The Much Idealised Perfect Family, It S About Creating Functional Relationships With Your Children So That They Grow Up Feeling Secure, Knowing Who They Are And What They Want Giving Both Them And You A Shot At Real Happiness.Full Of Refreshing, Sage And Sane Advice On The Bigger Picture Of Parenthood, How To Be A Parent Is The Only Book You Ll Ever Really Need To Ensure You Don T Mess Your Kids Up.


10 thoughts on “The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read

  1. says:

    Psychotherapist Phillipa Perry provides sound common sense advice for parents on how to improve their relationships with their children, much of which will be familiar to professionals that work with children It is easy to understand, with highly accessible material and ideas on how to improve home life and make it a significantly happier environment Perry puts a necessarily strong emphasis on parents putting in the effort to understand themselves and the nature of how they themselves were raised, which often plays a major influence on how they parent their own children Key to everything is communication and pertinent advice is offered on how to handle problematic behaviours and patterns, the need to accept mistakes and supporting children in positive ways Widening and shifting perspectives on situations and understanding a child s point of view provide opportunities for better parent and child relationships This is a great book for parents with plenty of useful advice on how to improve family life Many thanks to Penguin UK for an ARC.


  2. says:

    I really hated this book I can t relate at all to the author s assumptions that everything you find difficult about looking after a kid even a baby goes back to the way you yourself were neglected as a child Honestly, babies are just a LOT of work, and it s completely reasonable to get fed up, even if you had a perfect upbringing So that background irritation made it a lot harder to sift the text for possibly useful advice on how to handle those frustrations There was some, of course, hence the two stars but I didn t find it nearly as helpful or readable as the classic How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen, which Perry references And which approach in any case doesn t work for one of my two Just saying Further irritations the immense privilege in advice such as spend 24 hours to a weekend one on one with your kid, either in a hotel or by shipping the rest of the family off to relatives Wow Not an option for everybody, is that Also the examples of how to seek support when you have a baby Maybe your mum can pay a year s rent Maybe your sister can cook your meals Cue guffaws Sure, maybe that ll work for a lucky few Not a hugely helpful idea for most, though and while we re on the subject, what s with passing the burden onto specifically the women of the extended family.And then there s the guilt heavy attachment parenting philosophy I lean towards AP myself, but yeesh Perry insists that she doesn t want to judge, yet she draws a direct line from parents using their phone in front of kids to the kids possible drug addiction in later life Yes, seriously There are certainly plenty of reasons to limit your phone use, but that s a Bit Strong.


  3. says:

    3.5 starsI often try to read books on parenting, for insight really, but if I can take some tips from it great This relatively short book is broken into sections, each detailing how to engage with your child and approach various situations I found it to be both interesting and practical, and I really appreciated Perry s approach of trying to understand things from your child s perspective before you act.I particularly enjoyed the section on socialisation and the qualities children and adults need to behave well, namely 1 Being able to tolerate frustration 2 Flexibility 3 Problem solving skills 4 The ability to see and feel things from other people s point of view.It is important to support your children in learning these qualities, but Perry also suggests that you should employ these qualities when handling situations with your children I think that s a great way to approach things The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read suggests ways of addressing things in your own childhood and putting them aside creating a harmonious home environment helping children to express how they really feel so their feelings are validated and understood setting boundaries accepting mistakes and making efforts to repair situations Perry encourages you to treasure your relationships with your children and work every day to improve the bond your share.I am really glad I read this book Thank you to Netgalley and publisher for the opportunity.


  4. says:

    I am not a parent and I got SO much out of this book Philippa Perry is one of my favourite psychotherapy writers and frankly I d read a book about paint drying if it had her name on the front cover I feel like I understand the children in my life and myself when I was a child better after reading this On the whole, society doesn t encourage us to see things from a child s point of view we are quick to dismiss their feelings as being silly and so on I will never do that again after reading this book I also liked how Perry eschews the idea of good and bad behaviour preferring to call it convenient or inconvenient , which is far less judgmental Even if you are not a parent, if you are curious about how you were raised and would like to reflect on your own childhood, or perhaps feel you have a few issues unresolved, I d recommend reading this.


  5. says:

    Fantastic I m going to listen to this every year My strong and personal belief is that relationships rule all Parenting, teaching, being a good friendand this bottles that idea and gave me all the reasons why the author think this too, and the science to back it up It s therapy heavy, it s probably going to make a lot of people mad or guilty, but I loved it.


  6. says:

    Parenting is never easy There is no right way to do it, but there are plenty of wrong ways and for those that are interested there are a plethora of books out there that claim to provide all the advice that you will ever need in raising your genetic heritage This, however, comes with the by line, this is a parenting book for people who don t buy parenting books, which is quite a bold claim Psychotherapist Philippa Perry is well placed to make this claim with two decades of experience of case studies and her own experience of being a parent She concentrates on the bigger picture of being a parent rather than the minutia, concentrating on the relationship and how important that is to their well being.We have successfully managed to get our firstborn all the way through to adulthood as she was 18 earlier this year Not totally sure how we managed that, but we did We were never perfect and reading this has highlighted some errors, but I wish this was around all those years ago when she was first born If you are starting to hear yourself saying the things that your parent did then it is probably high time that you read this It is full of sensible advice, but I wished it had on teenagers, as it is mostly toddler focused It does have sensible suggestions though and she re iterates all the way through that these are suggestions and you sometimes need to go with your gut instinct.


  7. says:

    I don t normally read self help books, but I d recently had a training session about the use of psychotherapy in schools, a lot of which spoke to me as a parent, and I was keen to find out This book is a game changer I m glad that I ve read it now, as a parent of a 10 and 7 year old, but I really wish I d read it earlier I ll be buying it for pregnant friends in future This is not a book providing quick fixes and solutions, but rather one which will increase your understanding of what your child thinks and needs After finishing reading it two weeks ago, I wanted to work with some of the ideas before reviewing it All I can say is that our home has been much calmer recently and that we ve enjoyed hugs than we have for a while Perry s approach makes complete sense to me I d particularly recommend this for new parents, but it s also a valuable read for those with older children Please can Ms Perry next write a similar book for teachers


  8. says:

    Urgh.


  9. says:

    Empathy, connection how you should be to your children, as you would like to be done to How you should build a during relationship in childhood A useful reminder.


  10. says:

    This was an interesting read insofar as it pushes the boundaries of how useful a parenting guide can be without considering patriarchal power Unlike the vast majority of parenting guides, Philippa Perry s The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read gives mostly sensible, empathetic advice for how to relate to people most of the things she says could apply to relationships with anybody, although are especially relevant to your own children because of how much time you spend with them and how much influence you have over them As she is a psychotherapist, I was expecting the inevitable section on attachment theory, which as usual was a mixture of common sense and unnecessary rules why does a child have to form close attachments to exactly one or two people Is co sleeping and skin to skin contact really necessary for bonding given decades of doing it differently etc But on the whole, Perry manages to be remarkably undogmatic given the genre she s writing in.My problem was, then, that even though Perry is very careful to address her advice to parents rather than mothers , she does ignore that fact that, inevitably, mothers than fathers will read this book, and that the huge investment of time and emotional labour she suggests parents put into their children will, on average, be borne by women I agree with Perry s view that children deserve this time and attention, and I m conscious of the fact that children don t choose to be born and so choosing to have children is choosing to put in this commitment However, Perry s parenting style seems to me to be only possible if both partners are doing an equal share of the work, which is still very far from the norm in Britain today in heterosexual couples Otherwise, I feel like her advice might leave the parent doing the bulk of the child care usually but not always the mother feeling burnt out and mentally unwell She doesn t seem to have much sympathy, for example, for what she calls altered sleep patterns that result from night waking, and is pretty condemnatory of anyone who dares to steal some leisure time for themselves while spending time with their child She seems to also forget about parents who have than one child to deal with at once.Children definitely deserve to be taken seriously, and I totally agree with how Perry talks about children s feelings and needs However, this book should have recognised both that primary caregivers have needs as well, and that, in the real world, putting such a huge load solely on one person is bound to lead to struggles that will impact the child as well as the parent While she obviously can t change this situation, she could have framed her advice differently.


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